Archive for Just For Fun
Segula for Parnossa: This Shabbos is Shlissel Challah Shabbos! Get your keys ready!
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There is a well known segulah (charm) for parnosa (making a living) that takes place this Shabbos. The Shabbos following the last day of Pesach it has become a minhag to bake Challahs either in the shape of a key or to actually insert your key into the Challah before baking (make sure to wrap it in tinfoil first). It is called Shlissel Challah. Hey, in todays economy it certainly can’t hurt. I believe the object to be that we recognize that parnossa comes from Hashem and we rely on him for our well being. Since Pesach is the start of the Spring time, it is now the times that crops should be ready after the winter. We have been doing it almost every year since we are married and I look forward to my wifes fresh Shlissel Chalah on Shabbos.
The Honest Scammer – Just had to share this with you all
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The Honest Scammer
For those that don't get it, Jews are only Jews by Jewish law if their Mother was a Jew unless they converted. So a man who's Father is not Jewish, but has a Jewish mother is a full fledged Jew according to Jewish law. So the joke is that President Obama is white according to Jewish law since his Mother was white. (I hate explaining jokes, but I don't want people to miss out on this one)
Aint it the truth?!
Posted by: | CommentsDan Rather, Katie Couric and an Israeli sergeant were all captured by
terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he
would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan, so I'd like one last bowlful of hot
spicy chili."
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Katie Couric said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till
the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Couric
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is
your final wish?" "Kick me in the backside," said the soldier."
"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No,
I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the backside," insisted the Israeli.
So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the backside. The
soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol
from under his flack jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting
confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed
the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead
or fleeing for their lives.
As the soldier was untying Rather and Couric, they asked him, "Why
didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to
kick you in the backside first?"
"What?" replied the Israeli, "And have you two report that I was the
aggressor?
Beer Math, also knows as Bar Stool Economics, also known as the US Tax System
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Suppose that every day, The first four men (the poorest) would The ten men drank in They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they And so: Each David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. Professor of
Bar Stool Economics
ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they
paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something
like this:
pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The
seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay
$18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one
day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good
customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.
Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still
drink for free, but what about the other six men – the paying customers? How
could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair
share?'
subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man
would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested
that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount,
and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
(100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The
seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9
instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22%
savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
of the six was better off than before and the first four continued to drink
for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their
savings.
sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'
only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'
'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why
should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the
breaks!'
'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in
unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him
up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for
drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time
to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough
money between all of them for even half of the bill!
college professors, is how our tax system works.
the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much,
attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up
anymore. In fact, they might start
drinking overseas where the atmosphere
is somewhat friendlier.
Economics, University of Georgia
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?
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The Italian - throws the
cup and walks away in a fit of rage.
the fly, and drinks the coffee.
and throws away the coffee.
coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no
charge.
coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, buys himself a new cup of
coffee and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies
from falling into coffee.
the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression
to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee,
uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where
the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, and the Russian are all trying
to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of coffee to
the Palestinian.
Doesn’t every day feel like this when shopping in Israel?
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It's all in the attitude 
